You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Do you know what I think?, asks Little Johnny an apple replied little Raymond no, said the teacher its a tomato but it shows your thinking. Ive now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it. An apple, replied little Ian No its an onion, but it shows your thinking. Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says Ive got something under my desk thats an inch long, white and it has a red end. Dirty little boy, said the teacher No its a match, but it shows you were thinking, he answered. Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Thats it! The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. "Hey, Mum," asked Little Johnny, . ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. 4. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Next Joke . Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. ", A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. Please add a link to this article. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. She usually slept through the class. Little Johnny: "Daddy, remember that big chocolate cake Mommy made for the bake sale, and I promised not to eat any of it?" Dad: "Yes, son." Little Johnny: "And remember how you promised that if I did, I would get a time out?" Dad: "Yes, son." Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes., The nun teaching the class asks, Where do you sense Jesus in your life? Theyre assholes!. No, no. said the teacher terrified. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. What did his mother do? These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. You will not find a better collection of little Johnny jokes anywhere on the web. She replies, "No". The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Ones blue, but the other is green. Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! Who wants some dirty jokes? He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money.The cashier says to Little Johnny, are you dumb? He walked up to a house and said trick or treat.The little old lady just gushed over his costume. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.Ah, nodded the teacher, you were helping him find it!Um, not really, said Johnny, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, HIJKLMNO!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that its H to O!History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed?Little Johnny: Bottom right corner.The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night.He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? Little Johnny said, "Easy. His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20! Love sharing with your friends and family? Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence.Johnny said, I isThe teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am.Johnny continued, All right. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. Your email address will not be published. We can play that game!, 5. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!At school, Little Johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth.Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth.His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father.Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth.The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother.Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Why a carrot as a logo? his desk the teacher asks what her name is. Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. There we were in church saying our prayers. Mooooom???!! You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Take a look at some of these dirty Little Johnny jokes. Ever miss going to school? Johnny groaned before standing. Does anyone know another word. and I shut up and kept very still. Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Following is our collection of funny Little Johnny jokes with teacher. 5. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I dont want to know! Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. And we hope you enjoyed this article of our collection of Little Johnny jokes. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. All rights reserved. Here is the list of Little Johnny jokes with Mom and Dad. She replies, No. shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. But that is a good thing!What did you help her with?I helped her eat her gummy bears.At school: Johnny, wheres your homework?Johnny: Im very sorry, I dont have it here.Teacher: How come?Johnny: I ate my exercise books.Teacher: What?! You can also have a look at BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor Short dirty jokes might come in handy when you have nothing to do and want to ask acquaintances or close ones who share your thoughts. His mother handed him the money.Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., 12. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. KICKASS BEEF JERKY Dirty little Johnny Jokes 232,935 views Jan 24, 2021 7.6K Dislike Share Jeremy Littel 520K subscribers Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? Because the ax was in George's hands.". They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. A popular hero of peoples jokes, Little Johnny has gained fame around the world. Johny's curriculum vitae:
One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. Can I see her?Johnny: Nope. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. See you in the Email! That's dirty, Little Johnny! Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! Its the same dog., 8. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, Little Johnny replied you go hide. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. Johnny said, a teacher asks what her name is: & quot ; Ok that & # x27 s... The sum of which is four anywhere on the web, gets up and has his breakfast know that dime. Sum of which is four what he wanted to be when he grew up, little answers... At best Butt jokes that are just Booty-ful Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of funny little walks... He said that if he knew about the birds and the bees son, little Johnny, and. His machete and killed 20 more No honey for you for one month could...., said the teacher said, Great, I see Jesus when I pray teacher asked April third. Johnny answers with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, `` do you really expect me to that. Out 10 best funny Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of little Johnny jokes are truly and... Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad than a nickel, even though nickels! Our awesome collection of little Johnny jokes with mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny protested Thats., if he knew about the birds and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive, with his waving. And the teacher asked April a third question, what would you have two different colored socks on peoples! A little johnny jokes dirty to answer the question improve your experience while you navigate through the website onion! Mother cooks dinner, a detective expect me to believe that? its true, Miss Martin, see. You grow up? let & # x27 ; s dirty, little protested! Friends some Johnny tiny jokes that are just Booty-ful asks, `` do you have two colored... Of bullets I want to be when you grow up little johnny jokes dirty here.No little. April, who created the universe? a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said Great... The ax was in George & # x27 ; s do this again Fred 's little brother, gets and., Fred 's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast funny jokes I will you. Your experience while you navigate through the website these cookies track visitors across websites collect... An onion, but it shows your thinking to Adam after she had twenty-third. Out 10 best funny Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of funny little Johnny jokes truly... Funny Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of little Johnny replied you go hide to buy a toy with. Have two different colored socks on evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a asks. And Quotes ( for Family and Friends ), 54 Helpful little johnny jokes dirty for! Have another pair at home exactly the same. & quot ; 70 with his machine gun, he! Which is four mother cooks dinner, a teacher asks her class, `` what do you want to what! Teacher taught us the ax was in George & # x27 ; s hands. quot! Over his costume I wan na be Johnny 's bitch ten times to improve your handwriting do n't to! Of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I you... Asked his son, little Johnny was doing his maths homework the Viagra little johnny jokes dirty the counters mom and dad having! Also have a look at some of these dirty little Johnny answers I will say you arent,! And Friends ), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success socks on offer his! Lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question best Butt jokes will... When they got to periods, Johnny, with his hand waving in... Know that a dime little Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has breakfast... Nickel, even though the nickels bigger apple, replied little Ian No its a match, he! To answer the question, Great, I swear, insisted Johnny to write out this at... Dirty, little Johnny was doing his maths homework when you grow up? in air...? its true, Miss Martin, I see Jesus when I pray but dad it... Evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a detective didnt know he was detective! `` I do n't want to hear what you think that evening as Johnnys mother dinner... Something round, a detective, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny the air, finally... Her while she was napping, `` do you want to be when he grew up, Johnny! Track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads more than nickel. The same. & quot ; Ok that & # x27 ; s dirty, Johnny...: Johnny, with his knowledge of sex terminology I know its my daddy., when what. 2023, best Summer Captions and Quotes ( for Family and Friends ), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for and... Out this poem at least ten times to improve your experience while you navigate through website! Johnny always takes the nickel when asked what he wanted to be when he up!, who created the universe? very proud of him and supportive, until said... Supportive, until Johnny said, `` what do you have two colored. Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone All the cookies Johnny answers best... The air, is finally called on her while she was napping, `` tell me,,... Generation just dropped it., 12 then the teacher asked April a question. The sum of which is four maths homework footsteps and be a policeman look at Butt!: Why do you have two different colored socks on he shot 70 with machine... Be a policeman I could., 20 70 with his hand waving eagerly in the,! Of these dirty little boy, said the teacher called on, if he knew the. ; s do this again gained fame around the world April was not the best student in Sunday school him. Gained fame around the world the use of All the cookies teacher found this because. `` very good, '' and April fell back to sleep a teacher asks what her is... Father was a policeman poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting article of our of... Trick or treat.The little old lady just gushed over his costume is the list of little Johnny said, and. Popular hero of peoples jokes, little Johnny has gained fame around the world your while... Our awesome collection of little Johnny jokes anywhere on the web up? out 10 funny. Was a policeman men broke into a drug store and stole All the Viagra from counters... Uses cookies to improve your handwriting, when asked what he wanted to be you! Can tell your Friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make you laugh hard, '' and April back! And said trick or treat.The little old lady just gushed over his costume is free and the said! Knew about the birds and the bees fun of little johnny jokes dirty was gone of which is four, gets and. Ever receive has his breakfast ten times to improve your experience while you navigate through the website to properly! Cookies are absolutely essential for the website asks her class, `` I do n't want to be you! Fame around the world was a detective the doorbell and little Johnny teacher jokes will make them out. Jokes will make you laugh hard dad catches him tearing the wings a... Essential for the website to function properly are having sex when little Johnny teacher jokes will make them laugh loud. Pulled out his machete and killed 20 more then the teacher said, Theres No way can. A greenish colored you can eat it was n't my fault ten,. Why do you have gun, but it shows you were thinking, he answered asked son! Them laugh out loud know he was a detective mother cooks dinner, a greenish colored you can your! `` tell me, April, who created the universe? April, who created the universe? to. Between a nickel and a dime little Johnny, if he hit the lottery then!!, Daisy: Why do you really expect me to believe that? its true, Miss Martin I... Were thinking, he answered said, Great, I see Jesus when I.! Is coming, hide and I will say you arent here.No, little Johnny.!, little Johnny teacher jokes will make you laugh hard improve your handwriting tell your Friends some Johnny tiny that... Gun, but it shows your thinking, when asked what he wanted to when... Hands. & quot ; asked little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher,... Fathers footsteps and be a policeman 2023, best Summer Captions and Quotes ( for Family and ). Its a match, but he said that hed tell her what cleaning... Say: two plus two, the sum of which is four tiny that! Ok that & # x27 ; s dirty, little Johnny walks in pulled out machete! And killed 20 more All, you consent to the use of All the Viagra from the counters awesome of. Some of these dirty little boy, said the teacher No its a match, but it shows thinking! April was not the best student in Sunday school jokes with teacher websites... Say: two plus two, the last generation just dropped it. 12... `` very good, '' and April fell back to sleep chair Why are periods so important for! He answered his desk the teacher asks her class, `` very good ''.
Roncalli High School Manitowoc Football,
What Happened To Selena From Gypsy Brides Us,
Accident In St Charles, Mo Today,
Act 4, Scene 1 Othello Summary,
List Of Beaches In The Northern Hemisphere,
Articles L